When they are overwhelmed by emotions, they are unwilling or unable to communicate constructively or they feel that destructive behavior gives them power or control. Also when there is a desire to win at any cost, pride or ego gets in the way, or when the person feels hopeless or trapped or when past experiences shape present reactions.

Conflict restricts our thinking clearly and wants to push us in a direction of either-or solutions, when in reality there may be multiple options that are there. Therefore noting all these options and seeking more will help the parties to see creative options available to them and instead of focusing on opposing positions, their focus can…

Read more

When there is no sense of hope. One of the things that tips the scales is when the individual says, “There really is no hope”. When a person comes to that point, conflict is all but over because the relationship will be broken.

It prevents distortion and preserves the exactness between what was sent and what is received, ensuring there is clarity in the communication messages. Therefore misunderstandings are prevented, trust is built, expectations are clarified, constructive feedback is encouraged, problem solving is fostered and emotional regulation is promoted.

No communication does not always help to reduce conflict, although there are some people who believe conflict is best managed if we will just communicate, but that is not true at all. Some people communicate to find that they are in greater conflict because they have communicated values and desires they weren’t really sure the other person had.…

Read more

It is a behavioral pattern characterized by an excessive and compulsive drive to work, often to the detriment of one’s health, relationships and overall well being.

1. Incessant
   work patterns
2. Guilt
   over low productivity
3. Subjective
   standards of success
4. Leisure
   time guilt
5. Time
   consciousness
6. Self-denial
7. Future
   orientation

Things like keeping a calendar and planning ahead, setting definite office hours rather than allowing visitors to wander in at any time and occupy our time and set our agenda day after day, setting both family and recreational time on a regular basis, simply learning to say no, learning to relax, keeping contact with “safe” people—people…

Read more

Confronting first, then smoothing, then compromise, then forcing, and then withdrawal.

Jonah was afraid he might win in dealing and speaking for a gracious God, he wanted to go the other direction. Often the fear of success becomes something of a morbid cycle characterized by hostile and aggressive acts followed by guilt and retribution.

Stress reduction can take place within a properly functioning small group. Group members can help each other develop a system for managing stress through things like self-analysis, structuring a plan for stress reduction, checking that plan for the evaluation of progress, sharing mutual victories along the way. Mutual prayer and support which…

Read more

1. If we are always driven to over react the external forces that are seemingly catalysts are not necessarily the things that are to be blamed. This points to a deeper problem- showing that the frustration and anger lie within us, and conflict with those obstinate, motorized monsters merely offers these things an occasion to erupt.

i believe this may be due to their differences in roles, expectations and support systems. The pastors with staff and those without share certain problems that are common across pastoral roles due to shared aspects of ministry as a senior Pastor such as the emotional weight of ministry. high expectations, role strain and unmet goals…

Read more

People
with a hearty attitude take the stress of life in stride. When they encounter a
stressful event whether positive or negative, they consider it interesting.
First of all, they feel that they can influence the outcome. They see it as an
opportunity for development.

Some people might not be aware they are avoiding so the behavior can be named gently, reflective questions may also be used to push the person toward engagement or awareness, it may also help to summarize facts as agreements. Strategic patience may also be applied, involve a neutral third party or set boundaries.

This tactic provides moves used when we engage in trying to maintain. We are not avoiding the conflict nor escalating it, we’d like to keep it the same. The level of tension remains somewhat constant for all, and there is an equalizing of power among adversaries. So quid pro quo or getting something
for nothing allows for the gains and losses…

Read more

it’s a maintenance tactic which combines escalation and reduction tactics. It’s called fractionalization and it is a reduction tactic. One big conflict was broken down into several smaller manageable conflicts, which allowed for smaller progress to occur in visible ways, this encouraged the possible greater conflict to be positively managed.

Jesus withdrawing from crowds- Mathew 12: 14-15.

Joseph fleeing to Egypt with Mary and baby Jesus- Mathew 2: 13-14.

David fleeing from King Saul- 1 Samuel 19-23.

Paul escaping from Damascus in a basket- Acts 9: 23-25

A
threat used as a warning device can have a positive effect in a conflict
situation.

Things such as; disputes over facts and values, goals and beliefs.

Empower individuals to use their best efforts in the conflict.

Arouse confidence in the group and its leadership.

Provide or help the group discover common goals.

Provide or help the group discover the means toward achieving those goals.

They are all very far fetched and unreasonable ideas of which I strongly disagree, except for this one; “It is terrible, horrible, and catastrophic when things are not going the way one would like them to go.” In all honesty things can certainly feel that way sometimes even though the idea is quite irrational because we know God is the…

Read more

Four
areas of significant value of conflict were identified: social action, liturgy and worship as
one, theology (charismatic versus non-charismatic or conservative versus
liberal), and the lifestyle of the pastor. However the biggest single category: 46
percent of the total cases involved the pastor’s interpersonal competence; and this 46…

Read more

I believe it’s because emotional maturity increases, they realize not every battle is worth fighting. I also think as one gets more mature the desire for peace grows stronger; through experiencing spiritual and moral growth as well as personality changes. Often times as people grow older their years of experience help them to understand what matters most.

When truth or righteousness is at stake, when others are being harmed or oppressed, when things will lead to bitterness or broken relationships, when growth and accountability will be hindered or when leadership and responsibility will be damaged.

Accommodating style

I view collaboration as the most realistic style because it gets all the parties engaged in the conflict to become fully involved in defining the conflict so that mutually agreeable steps can be taken. This will birth solutions, I believe conflicts are opportunities for the creation of solutions.

Jesus demonstrated a conflict style of control when he asserted his authority when he cleansed the Temple; Matthew 21:12–13; Mark 11:15–17; John 2:13–17.

He demonstrated the nonconfrontational style when he chose to withdraw, stay silent, or disengage from conflict after John’s death; Matthew 14:13.

Solution style- Jesus worked toward…

Read more

There
are at least three things that influence us in selecting a coalition partner.
The first is when coalitions are not seen as useless, weaker parties are likely
to seek each other out and exclude decidedly stronger parties from their
alliances.

The second fact, as far as desirability of a coalition partner, has to do with the attractiveness of…

Read more

First,
equality of initial power or resource among coalition members is likely to
result in an approximately equal division of outcomes. Whereas, differential
power or resources is likely to result in an unequal distribution when members
possessing greater power or resources generally demand a larger share of the
outcomes.

The
other factor…

Read more

The Caplowian predictions is largely part situationally determined. Alliances will tend to form along parties who see themselves as sharing a common disadvantage at the hands of another.

Having 3 groups A, B and C, the first prediction that is made is if group A, group B, and group C all have equal power points (we’ll say it’s one, one, one)…

Read more

Coalitions can form in a subtle, unconscious fashion during the process of discussion where differences or conflict surfaces. Some board members find themselves lining up with other board members quite frequently, yet they may not know why. It does not appear to be planned. It just seems to happen. It may relate to comparable personality…

Read more

A voluntary relationship is crucial in negotiations and bargaining because it lays the foundation for a fair, cooperative and sustainable agreement. At
the very core of bargaining and negotiation is the will of the individual. If a
person’s will is violated so that voluntary judgment is not possible, then we
have coercion, not negotiation. The…

Read more

A third party is an external person or group that is not directly involved in a situation but becomes involved to help manage, observe or influence it. An audience is a group of observers or listeners who receive information but do not participate directly.

Bargaining Steps Between Jacob and Laban (Genesis 29–31)

1. Initial Agreement: Jacob’s Labor for Rachel (Genesis 29:15–20).

Laban’s Proposal: “Should you work for me for nothing? Tell me your wages.”

Jacob’s Offer: “I will serve you seven years for Rachel.”

Outcome: Laban agrees.

Modern parallel: An informal contract—work exchanged for a clear…

Read more

Initial Request and Flat Refusal (Exodus 5:1-2)

Moses’ Proposal: “Let my people go, so that they may hold a festival to me in the wilderness.”

Pharaoh’s Response: “Who is the Lord, that I should obey him?… I will not let Israel go.”

2. Second Proposal After Plagues Begin (Exodus 7–8)

After the First Plague (water to blood): No change in Pharaoh’s…

Read more

Influence is a good synonym for power because at its core, power
should be viewed as the ability to affect or change the behavior, thoughts or outcomes of others and this is exactly what influence does.

Who
appears to be the most powerful?

Who
accommodates the most?

What
are the patterns of power in the relationship?

Who
can best predict changes in power relationships?

What
decisions are a function of a complex ritualized pseudo-power relationship?

Who
is invested in maintaining the power relationship at its present status, and
why?

What
are…

Read more

The person who claims to have the least amount of power or influence may not in fact, be exercising the least amount of power. The subtlety of claiming less power may be more effective than the strategy of openly acknowledging the possession of power. This manipulation by use of covert power will usually prevail over the opponent who is… Read more

The
person who claims to have the least amount of power or influence may not fact, by exercising the least amount of power. The subtlety of claiming less power may
be more effective than the strategy of openly acknowledging the possession of
power.

Worship leader- referent power

Christian Counselor- legitimate power

Teacher- legitimate power

The five types of power are- reward
power, coercive power, legitimate power, referent power and expert power.

As a teacher I use legitimate power the most, then referent power to inspire my students and my own child, next coercive power to deal with stubborn non-compliant students, then reward power and lastly expert power because of my teaching skills.

David and Jonathan’s Relationship:

David and Jonathan shared a deep and loyal friendship, one of the most profound in the Bible. David could trust Jonathon with his life, even though he was the son of King Saul. They formed an immediate bond after David’s victory over Goliath. The friendship was so strong that risk just didn’t seem to…

Read more

The communicational interchange is complementary because it is based on differences; I am a student being taught be a lecturer that I believe is more knowledgeable and experienced than I am in the field of communication.

Complementary because I am a student being taught be a lecturer that I believe is more knowledgeable and experienced than I am in the field of communication.

This was a complementary relationship, based on what she said to Jesus, ‘You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink? (For Jews do not associate with the Samaritans.)’” She had sized up the situation and did not expect that Jesus would speak to her. His request for a drink from her was beneath him.

It was symmetrical interchanges because what I perceived that he was doing to me was what I was doing to him. My response was a reflection of what he was doing.

Research indicates that the more spontaneous and healthy a
relationship, the more the relationship aspect of communication recedes into
the background. This is true because those involved in the relationship are better able to focus on the content of messages being sent, and with the relationship level being so healthy it does not need attention.

The
right to fail is essential if we would enjoy the power of the
creative process in our institutions. The right to fail is of the essence of creativity, as such the creative act must be uninhibited and marked by supreme confidence. There can be no fear of failure. Nothing inhibits so fiercely or shrinks a vision so drastically or pulls a…

Read more

Rephrase in their own words anything which really sounds important.

Avoid exaggerating the good points, to avoid missing something the subordinate is really trying to tell you.

Learn to concentrate especially in long conferences or meetings.

Listen for the unfamiliar. If you’re an experienced supervisor, so much of what will be heard will…

Read more